The Musings of a Pressurized Student Studying for the IIT (!)

The title might come across as overly dramatic. You'll change your opinion if you live it. I have no qualms about my decisions, no regrets whatsoever. I chose to pursue science only because I liked it, and a tiny bit because half my recent predecessors chose to do the same. Come to think of it, the other half did pursue other things didn't they?

After being mauled by the gigantic syllabi and the barrage of tests for almost 2 years there are a couple of things I feel - a) I have learnt a lot (both literally and metaphorically), and b) fear, constant fear. Fear of what might some skeptics ask? They're just books after all, how can I live in fear of them? Well, I don't really live in fear of them as much as I live in the fear of the end of them, as at the end of them lies a test. A test compiled by some of the greatest yet most sadistic minds in this country. Greatest because they CAN make the test (and surprisingly, with completely satisfactory answers too !) and sadistic because they DO make the test. That's what I think anyway. And anyway, i don't care what others think. In my mind, I have a very clear image of them, one that probably every single one of us has seen one time or another, one image that comes second only to the image of God - 10 points if you guessed it right - it's the devil I'm talking about.

I stay up late, either studying or watching movies or studying while watching movies. But I can do none peacefully. Heck, I can't go 10 minutes without thinking about my future and how it all depends singularly (okay, maybe that's a tad bit too much) on one entrance exam which is taken simultaneously by lacs of others, like or unlike me. So I ask myself, why the IIT's? What's so special about it? The saddest part is I don't have a single answer, not even a slither of a clue to any of the questions that overload my mind. Sure, they're considered the best in India, and one of the best in the world. Sure they have the best faculty. Sure, they have the best placements. Sure, my life is "set" once I get past the test. But at what cost? We strive to get into the IIT's so that we're able enough to make the most complicated and fascinating machines in the world. By the end of the journey, we ourselves become perfect examples of machines, performing tasks mechanically, not asking why, just moving on with blinders attached by the side of our heads. Reminds me of the movie 'Kaminey' where Shahid Kapur was running ahead of stallions, wearing blinders on his head. Totally digressive though. That's what has happened to my concentration levels after such countless sleep-deprived nights.

There are people dying because of this pressure. Those guys up there don't care. They need to sift through the inconsequential masses and pick the crème de la crème. They don't give two hoots about the guy who just pulled the trigger, without even leaving a suicide note as he was too frustrated to bother. The just don't give a damn. Why should I, then? Well, don't have a choice to be honest.


So, the ultimate question is, "What can be done after complaining so much and feeling as if I've been conned for life?" The answer is an MCQ : a) H.C. Verma for Physics b) R.D.Sharma for Math c) D.C.Pandey for Chemistry d)Take a nap

After these musings, I'm guessing (b).